throwing mud at your streetlight

by rushmore beekeepers

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1.
feet flat on the ground, i’ve got nothing to do but stand around my hands are empty but my heart is full, overflowing tongue’s all tied in knots, forgot to say what i forgot words never come to me, the feelings never seem to leave holding both my hands out to the sun wishing i could share my love with everyone
2.
dark eyes and flowing red hair dyed brown blue paintings all around, but her eyes facing the ground i tried, she was like a queen i thought the best i’d ever seen, but another man’s rose of abilene her scarf, it was dusty blue and it shone like the moonlight on somebody’s tomb i starved myself for affection sensitive attention, my soft angelic pretension her man, he travelled to talk to me left me bruised and bloody on a street i’d never see i can’t put my eyes to the ground i see her all around, but she’ll never make a sound the aftertaste of love is bitter wish i’d never met her, or that i could forget her such a waste of hearts like hers and mine i’ll learn some lesson in time, you could read a novel in someone’s eyes
3.
she left me for the farmland of nebraska, said she needed a different pace the boys there are sad and drunk and arty and somehow much more fun than me and the smile on my face so i sadly helped her bags and paid her bus ticket and she rode away, her hair all black and shiny and i set out to frown and pout and i learned how to be smart and whiny i wanted to show her i really did know her better than some farmboy listening to the smiths so i bought my bus ticket, brought a guitar and a song and a pie from mrs. griffith’s the first day was really fun, i didn’t get a whole lot done because i’d taken the wrong bus and ended up on the set of land of the dead so i ran out and killed a zombie, signed a release and george thanked me and i found a hotel to rest my weary head got up the next morning to find the bus depot, but without any warning the president had declared martial law the living dead really weren’t dead and gun-hating americans couldn’t aim for the head so things had gotten out of control and i thought of my darling kimberly, even though she hated me, i knew she wasn’t safe with a bunch of emos in nebraska so i got some coffee, stole a car, then a gun and a crowbar and started off on a very long drive i had boxes of food and ammunition and by ohio i really was wishing i’d brought something besides kiss me, kiss me, kiss me by decatur, illinois i really liked being a single boy, ‘cause i smelled real bad and yelled along to the radio but then i started thinking of things and looked at my picture of kimberly and barreled on down the road by the time i got to omaha all that was left was bones to gnaw, so it’s a good thing she had moved to lincoln knocked on her door at half past four, got no anwer so i knocked twice more, and finally i just walked in she tried to kiss me with her teeth, so i smashed her in the cheek and shot her in the head now i know what it’s like to be sad
4.
under the blue moon i left you waiting, maybe sitting on a blanket lonely you told me the blue moon only shines every once in awhile there was a time i would purposely miss a button just to have you close to me you’d snap it shut, straighten my collar, then turn around and walk away so i read that damn article again, is it really two more years till another you told me the blue moon shining sure would be something to see under a blue moon you left me waiting, baby, sitting on a blanket meant for two i missed my chance with you, and i missed the blue moon too
5.
the mandolins sang softly and sweetly in the warm summer air, drifting like the breeze that brought you then took you from me i sat at the café till the lady took all the chairs inside, then i sat on the sidewalk, just sat till the sun came up we danced in the street, i stepped on your feet again and again, waltzing so clumsy like the goodnight kiss landing on your cheek i walked all the way home, down streets that i know, and still got lost the time we had spent left me a mess, i’m still here the end of it all won’t come soon enough for my mandolin, we remember the chords but the melody lines are long lost i had hold of your hands long enough to write down the words, but they left like the breeze that danced you and took you from me
6.
there’s a dark figure standing in my doorway, waiting for me to return to his side nobody told him i have a love now, my loneliness a passer-by there’s this nightmare i have most every night that i’m all alone in a friendly place but i reach out terrified and she’s by my side, my anxiety drifts away someday we may be out in the world without the support of anyone around us if it is just we two i know we will make it through anything that surrounds us there’s an angel standing in my doorway giving me the go-ahead sign he has kept the demons back long enough, i can handle them this time there’s a woman i know well, better than anyone else, radiant and mystical and magical we’re bound together everything we do we can make it through the best and worst of weather
7.
04:29
from the coastline of your thoughts to the window of your tiny box, the waves come a-rolling the best thing and the worst thing you ever had, you’re looking at them like they’re the same you tuck away that good feeling you had for awhile and hide it like it was stolen the smile you thought you knew, the person who was holding you had a different name and hey, hey, it’s a new day hey, hey, it’s another day your beat up truck never runs like it should but there’s plenty of room for you and a good friend your life never works like you think it should, the empty seat stays empty everybody treats you like a good pal, you go to the same places on the weekends and you write letters you never mail, they sit and collect dust like they’re antiques the sky is falling like an old building, one piece of wood at a time and you keep waiting for tomorrow like you’ll live forever, but your hair is turning grey the sky is falling, like memories it’ll bury you soon and you’ll find everyone you thought was a friend was just another person on just another day
8.
02:07
your bright blue eyes almost knocked me to the ground and i’m lost in you again heard your voice and forgot what i was singin’ i might never be the same again this big house, i’m staying here for two weeks only gives me too much time to think about you please wait for me, i’ll be there and i’ll be waiting just for you i’ll be wanting to talk to you i’ll try to hold my thoughts back till then don’t want to scare you, but i don’t want this to end this is a place we make for each other if we’re happy and we know it, and we know what we want this is a place we make for each other, time is all it takes and time is all we have yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
9.
i can see heaven in your eyes on the right day at the right time and it’s always the right time how great to be feeding your dogs, going on trips with your dad and mom making coffee at your house, knowing what you and me is all about it’s always been the right thing thinking of words to songs about you while we’re in the same room holding hands and department store cruising, and every other little thing that we’re doing it’s always the right time two years and counting, tomorrow we’ll start three
10.
02:07
every time i see you smile i just want to sit awhile with you and talk about everything, lay out every plan and dream with you but then i know we have plenty of time for that bracelets may break and songs they may get old but these are just reflections of things that won’t get old we talked on the road in front of my grandpa’s bar and if we hadn’t met then, we’d still be where we are because we’re not just people, we’re people who found each other i never feel out of place in your company and every time i sing to you, you know you’ve spoken to me and i’m falling in love with you in different ways and at different times it may be a cliché, that doesn’t mean it’s a lie
11.
the most beautiful sunrise happened today, but the curtains were drawn and i just looked at your face through the troubles and surprises and dark skies and through the patterns and the light everything’s okay with all of its might despite shipwrecks and storms, there’s always a harbor nearby between love and beauty, there’s never a question to ask or a reason to keep you on the other side i can hear you smiling in the dark, and wait for your next word because everything i’ve ever heard could change the moonlight shines like a projector though i can’t see anything, i can hear everything and i wonder if it’s always this way and if the mesas and the mountains and the view from within the valley will always be this beautiful or did i dream it and softly whisper to you everything will change but us two
12.
the silent sounds of footsteps echo where you’ve been my porchlight’s broken but i’ll still let you in you held your hands pointed like a pirate’s hat always looking straight ahead, i wonder how you walk like that but you’ll be holding my hand before you have a chance to say no i’m the one for you my darling, though i never told you so and i’ll be walking down your street, i’ll be waiting for you to notice me your self-portrait was impressive, blue ink and turpentine in a photo of your friends you held a hand that felt like mine i wrote you a letter, then i threw it away hoping you’d dig through my trash and know what i meant to say the days are oppressive and the nights get even worse it seems our relationship is headed in reverse i lost my address book and you never knew my number this tidal wave of anxiety is pulling me under
13.
in the stillness and my sleepy eyes i wonder if you pass me by in the hope i may think of you, or wonder who’s walking by from the pawn shops to art galleries, i look for things to make me think of you hoping i will forget those thrift store promises that made me blue on any rainy cold night i may be here still, wandering the streets like a drunk hoping i may pass you by, just to say some bad words dinner for two at some fancy restaurant, or your brother yelling at me to go home it was all the same, you were just a pain, but it’s awful fun to be so mad and mean oh, i drove by our favorite spot yesterday, that big old tree by the riverside i wished i’d had an axe, i’d chop the damn thing down or some kerosene, i’d burn it with your family around oh, i walked by your house just the other night, yes that was me, throwing mud at your streetlight hoping i could see you one more time, just to say some bad words
14.
well i wait till my hair gets real thick, then i chop it all off something about sweeping up a pile of curls well i can see heaven in your eyes on the right day at the right time something about something i’ve never seen in anyone else i was in the first grade when the hurricane began, the teacher took us underground but nothing ever happened then i felt the ocean was mine and how old was i when the tornado came around, the sky was pale, i was in the bathtub and i felt fine i had a good friend who traded misery for me, then she traded me for misery and though i miss her, i kinda hope i never see her again tangled up in words and i hope i say something right love songs in my head, blank pages on my knee trying to make myself into something that i can like, and everyday i kid myself i’m that much closer

credits

released October 30, 2009

All songs written by Zach Fountain.

Album art / design by Amanda Hawkins! ahhh-design.com

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rushmore beekeepers Tulsa, Oklahoma

Indie folk/electro folk duo RBK (Zach Fountain and Amanda Hawkins) layer guitar, autoharp, and mandolin with keyboards and electro beats while covering the pivotal themes in life: love, loss, adventure, and occasionally the apocalypse.

Based in OK and AZ, the solo/duo act plays shows brimming with emotion, banter, and forgotten lyrics at coffee shops, bars, and houses across the USA.
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