you know, there's still time, but i think it's safe to say
there won't be any zombies on christmas
i know we should expect it all the time and be ready any time
but it really looks like there won't be any zombies on christmas
i had a dream last night about the crazies
and it's safe to say they are scarier than zombies
but don't you worry about locking the barn
or teaching your family how to shoot a gun
because i'm pretty sure there won't be any zombies on christmas

of course, next year, who knows, we live on an ever-changing planet full of possibilities
and we can't throw out any possibility, no matter how unlikely
but are you going to unplug the lights in your trees and plants
and stay home the night of thanksgiving instead of camping out
outside your favorite electronics store
if you do that, well, my friends, they have already won
but it really looks like there won't be any zombies on christmas

but just in case, you should probably keep an eye
on your weird cousin or your uncle, or aunt
or your brother who seems just a little more sleepy than usual
but don't shoot 'em till you know for sure
and don't go spoiling Christmas dinner, no
there won't be any zombies on christmas
but if there are you shoot 'em in the head, you shoot 'em in the head
you shoot 'em in the head, you shoot 'em in the head